Irreplaceable Father

 In my home my dad is often heard saying, “happy wife, happy life.” That is the kind of husband my dad it is. I often wish they had one for my dad too, because he deserves to be happy too. We tend to not give fathers the credit they deserve for all that they do. Before I go into a more personal perspective let me discuss a few points talked about in an article “The Involved Father” by Glenn T Staton. The author focuses solely on the impact that fathers have on their children, because a father can not be replaced or replicated by anyone else. The article addresses 7 main points:

1. Father’s Parent Different: There is a reason why a baby can tell the difference between mom and dad, it’s because as parents they have differences. This helps the children learn how to interact with different people & personalities from the start. Seeing the different parenting techniques will allow the children to deal with life with a broader perspective.

2. Father’s Play Different: We have all seen a father play a little “rough” with their kids as the mom sits on the sidelines suggesting to the dad to be careful. Dads tend to wrestle, be the monster, have tickle fights, throw the kids in the air, and a lot of other more physical activities. Kids learn how to have a healthy balance of aggression and playfulness. Kids will learn what aggressive behaviors such as biting or hitting are not appropriate.

3. Father’s Build Confidence: Father’s are often the ones that promote their kids going out and being active. They want their children to push their limits a little more. This results in a child who has greater confidence and independence.

4. Father’s Communicate Different: It has been found that mothers tend to simplify their language with kids, while fathers don’t. This allows their children to have to gain communication skills with a deeper vocabulary. This is a key step in a child’s academic success.

5. Father’s Discipline Different: Father’s focus very heavily on the “rules” of life or the family. Father’s tend to focus on enforcing the rules and dealing with the consequences. This leads to children learning what is right and what is wrong. 

6. Father’s Prepare Children for the Real World: Father’s tend to not sugar coat life and are able to show their kids what consequences come from the good and bad in life. They allow their children to understand the real world better.

7. Father’s Provide a Look At the World of Men: Men and women are not the same. Men have many attributes and lifestyle behaviors that are so different than women. Children who grow up with their fathers grow up with a better understanding of men. Women tend to grow up and build healthy connections with men. While boys grow up to be less violent & sustain a healthy masculine affirmation. 

It is quoted in the article that “fathers are far more than just ‘second adults’ in the home. Involved fathers — especially biological fathers — bring positive benefits to their children that no other person is as likely to bring.” This is where I can relate so deeply. I LOVE MY FATHER. There is no person that I have ever met who can take his place in my life. He is the kind of man who I can always count on. He has proven these seven points above to be true. This does not diminish the value and importance of my mother, but my fathers influence on my life is very different. I found a healthy balance of life from both my mom and dad, yet I know how important my dad is to that balance.

One thing that I learned from my dad the most is my value as a woman. My dad treats my mother as a queen and honors her in every way possible. I learned that I deserve a man who respects me the way my father does so for my mom. Because of my father I know what a good man looks like. My dad has both shown and talked to me about my strength as a woman and also what kind of man I deserve. My dad has taught me how to work hard, but still be available to his wife and children after a long day. I can not put into words all that I learned from my father and I don’t even want to imagine what my life would be like without my father. What I do know is that no one else could replace him.