Successful Relationships

 Ch. 2 ABCs of Successful Romantic Relationship Development

Let’s face it, dating is pretty rough these days! Eternity is a LONG time! That’s a lot of pressure to find one person you want to spend the rest of your life with. This is why building meaningful and lasting relationships is an essential part to this development. Not to worry, we are not alone and there are a lot of resources to help us out on this quest we call dating. In fact, a man named George Levinger (1983) created a five-phase development for romantic relationships he calls the ABCs. A. Awareness of or Acquaintance with another person. B. Buildup of the relationship. C. Continuation following Commitment to a long term relationship (which may result in marriage for many couples) “The issue for single Latter-day Saints is how to enter into phase A and move progressively through phase A into phase B and then to phase C, with the end point being a temple marriage that will grow into an eternal and celestial marriage.” pg. 83 I love the third part of the ABCs! The word continuation is KEY! How are you supposed to get to know someone… and I mean really get to know someone if you only go on one date. I remember having a professor asking this question, “is a first date a strong indicator to knowing if you could marry someone or not.” NO! Why?? Because you don’t know them and usually you are trying to be your best self on a date so you potentially hold back a lot of who you are. Building relationships take time. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of hearing about NICMOs! This is not something that will lead you to a successful relationship. In fact, it may even leave you feeling less worthy of love. This is why I love following the R.A.M Model when I date. Dr. Vann Epp. came up with this very powerful tool in building healthy relationship attachments. There are 5 components to this model. Knowing, Trusting, Relying, Committing, and then Physical touch. When you are dating someone new, you want to get to know them first in order to be able to trust, rely, and so forth! If your focus is building something that will last, you will take the time the relationship needs in order for it to get there. 

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