Autumn Cramer Kia Kaha

  Ch. 22: Wholesome Family Recreation: Building Strong Families  “Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.” Pg. 1050 We live in a world today where it is not hard to find something fun to do. There are many distractions! When it comes to technology, we have the television, video games, smart phones (social media), and tablets! The choices are endless. However, we also have to take into consideration the choices and the quality of these different recreational activities and how they will impact our lives and the lives of our families. How are we choosing to spend our time? I know I could get on my Instagram account and scroll of hours being fully entertained, but what gain is that bringing to my life or that of my family? I have now become the consumer of technology and that has stolen my time. In fact, by searching to find con...

  Ch. 21 The Meaning and Blessings of Family Work I lived in a family where every Saturday was help mom and dad work inside and outside the house day! There were many times where the last thing I wanted to do on my Saturday was pull those weeds, deep clean the house, or sort through the recycling… but I did it anyway! Looking back, yeah it was hard work, but it taught me so many lessons. Lessons I am so glad I learned and if I could go back, I would do it all over again. I learned how to be a hard worker and how that work pays off. I loved being able to see and feel the final result of my efforts. That was so rewarding to me. It taught me that the good things in life don’t always come that easy and you have to put in the effort necessary to get there. It taught me to enjoy the times I am not working because I have already worked so hard to have those moments to enjoy. I also learned how to do things a lot of my friends do not know how to do because I was taught those things at such...

Ch. 20 Repentance and Forgiveness in Family Life There will be many times where we ourselves need to repent and ask for forgiveness as well as members in our family. Sometimes it may be for more serious reasons than others, but the principle is the same. Let me tell you about a time I felt the need to ask my little brother for forgiveness. I was about 18 years old at the time and my little brother was 16. One day we got into this argument over something super stupid. To be honest I can’t even remember what it was about. However, I do remember the hurtful comments and names that were being exchanged back and forth between the two of us. I remember feeling so angry… rage even! I remember feeling so mad I wanted not only to hurt him with my words (emotionally) I wanted to hurt him with my fist (physically.) Instead of getting physical I stormed off saying something along the lines of I hate you! I then got in my car and went for a drive. I was still fuming, but the more I drove the more t...

  Ch. 18 Faith in the Family Life I really wanted to focus mostly on dimension two from this chapter which is religious practices and family. I love how doing small and simple things can build faith within the family. Growing up, my dad was always really good about having regular family home evening every Monday night. There were times we as kids did not listen or care to really be there but we did it anyway. It was something that was constant and consistent. It was something we could count on doing every Monday. This small thing helped me in ways I can’t even comprehend fully. For me, family home evening was something I looked forward to. I loved learning more about the gospel in my own home. I was even given the opportunity to teach some Monday’s. This helped me grow my personal testimony. I will always be forever grateful for this simple constant in my life. “Religious practices are “outward, observable expressions of faith such as prayer, scripture study, rituals, traditions, o...

  Ch. 4 & 6 Equal Partnership & Honoring Marital Vows What does it mean to be equal? “Equality is all too often used to mean “identity”; that is, that two equal things must be identical to each other.” pg. 186 What would be the fun in that? Imagine living in a world where everyone was the same! We all had the same likes, dislikes, and did the same things everyday. That would be so boring. That would get old after a while! We NEED variety. We have been blessed with differences that make us beautiful and unique in our own way. These differences add to our relationships. Just because our roles as men and women can be different doesn't mean that one is better than the other. We are all equal in love. This kind of love comes from our Heavenly Father. Our identity is children of God. Our self worth is infinite! Men and women together are different but equal because equality does not mean identity. When we strive to have an equal partnership in our marriage, there is a bond of lov...

  Ch. 3 Foundational Processes for Enduring, Healthy Marriage I want to start out by talking about happiness. We create our own happiness! We are responsible for doing things in our lives that will either help us or hurt us. When we can understand how to be intentional with ourselves we can then be intentional with others. “Foundational processes are actions couples take in relation to each other to help their marriage flourish.” pg. 136 Within a relationship comes personal commitment to the marriage covenant, love and friendship, positivity, accepting influence, handling differences and conflict respectfully, and continued courtship. In a marriage, you become one with your spouse and one with God. This unity allows you to come together for all the good, bad, and ugly. Sometimes, life is going to throw you some curveballs and that’s okay. We must learn to lean on each other and the Lord during these times. I have seen my parents come together in this way. My dad has lost his job a ...

  Ch. 2 ABCs of Successful Romantic Relationship Development Let’s face it, dating is pretty rough these days! Eternity is a LONG time! That’s a lot of pressure to find one person you want to spend the rest of your life with. This is why building meaningful and lasting relationships is an essential part to this development. Not to worry, we are not alone and there are a lot of resources to help us out on this quest we call dating. In fact, a man named George Levinger (1983) created a five-phase development for romantic relationships he calls the ABCs. A. Awareness of or Acquaintance with another person. B. Buildup of the relationship. C. Continuation following Commitment to a long term relationship (which may result in marriage for many couples) “The issue for single Latter-day Saints is how to enter into phase A and move progressively through phase A into phase B and then to phase C, with the end point being a temple marriage that will grow into an eternal and celestial marriage.”...

  Ch. 1: Young Adulthood and Pathways to Eternal Marriage “Marriage is ordained of God… God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife… Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan.” Pg. 21 The definition of marriage has changed a lot over the past few years. We are living in a world where anything goes. If it feels and looks good, it must be good! However, marriage between a man and a woman is something so sacred and will never change according to God’s law. Studies have shown that young adults are not even considering marriage to be a milestone or something that is part of becoming an adult. Instead, they are more focused on accepting responsibility for oneself and becoming financially independent. While these things are great, it is important to still have a focus for eternal marriagePri. “The prophets have always emphasized the importance of marriage according to God’s...

Let me start with a few scenarios I believe we all can relate to. First imagine you are at the airport and when you look around every single person is on their phone, typing on their laptop, or have headphones on. Now let me take you to the streets on New York City where it is packed full of tourists taking selfies and looking up directions. You can imagine you are in your home with family and friends and all that’s happening is people watching tv, playing games on their phones, or scrolling through social media. Lastly, you are waiting to go in for a work interview and the interviewer is on their phone the whole time, taking calls during the interview. We all can easily imagine these scenarios, because we have either experienced them or we just have accepted that that is how our world functions. Technology is at the core of all we do. Well, what if I told you that the core of our society should be family. We should be promoting habits that promote healthy family relations. However, we...

Divorce and combining two families is something that could be very difficult for one to go through. However, I want to talk about how there are blessings and miracles through some of these hardships. I want to share a story from one of my best friends. She comes from a combined family, and the way she talks about her family you never would’ve known they were anything but blood. I know that everything happens for a reason. We may not know the reasoning behind everything, but we can find joy in our trials. My friend’s mom passed away when she was seven years old. Her mom left behind my friend and her two younger brothers. Her father shortly after we married a woman who had three kids and had gone through a divorce. What once was two families of five, now became one family of eight. This was not something that was easy for my friend. She had to learn how to love her new siblings. The first few years were very hard, but her family was able to build their relationships upon understanding an...

There is truly no one way to parent a child. Both the husband and the wide will have different techniques or ideas about how to parent. Every child needs to be parented differently. This may seem like a lose-lose situation. It would be so easy to just google “how to be a good parent” and expect all the answers to fall in your lap… but instead you’ll find so many different views. For examples here are the top 10 most famous parenting quotes on Google: “Children are educated by what the grown-up is and not by his talk.” –Carl Jung “Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.” –Anne Frank “If you have never been hated by your child, you have never been a parent.” –Bette Davis “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” –Frederick Douglass “One thing I had learned from watching chimpanzees with their infants is that having a child should be fun.” –Jane Goodall “The best w...

  In my home my dad is often heard saying, “happy wife, happy life.” That is the kind of husband my dad it is. I often wish they had one for my dad too, because he deserves to be happy too. We tend to not give fathers the credit they deserve for all that they do. Before I go into a more personal perspective let me discuss a few points talked about in an article “The Involved Father” by Glenn T Staton. The author focuses solely on the impact that fathers have on their children, because a father can not be replaced or replicated by anyone else. The article addresses 7 main points: Father’s Parent Different: There is a reason why a baby can tell the difference between mom and dad, it’s because as parents they have differences. This helps the children learn how to interact with different people & personalities from the start. Seeing the different parenting techniques will allow the children to deal with life with a broader perspective. Father’s Play Different: We have all seen a f...

  Whenever you ask someone what is the key to a successful relationship they always say, “COMMUNICATION” and they would not be wrong. However, to simply say that it is just communication would be a stretch. What does communication even mean? I communicate with people all the time and don't have a strong relationship with everyone I have ever talked to. That is why just communicating is not enough to have a successful relationship with those around us and especially our family members. If we dig a bit deeper we will actually find that the KEY to communication does not involve any words at all, rather it all begins by being a good listener. Let me share a few quotes that I feel illustrate this concept better than my own words can: “The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.”-Unknown “If you think communication is all talk, you haven’t been listening.” -Ashley Brilliant “Be as passionate about listening as you are about being heard.”-Brene...

  We have all heard the saying “what doesn't kill you makes you stronger” yet I don’t think we really sit back and separate the two. It is important to take time to think about those things that could have “killed you” and then also how they have made you “stronger.” As a family unit we all go through so many experiences that sometimes we forget to stop and analyze a little bit deeper as to how our family’s ups and downs have affected us individually and as a whole. Let us first address these things that could “kill” our family. These are the crises that happen that act as stressors in the family. A crisis can be big or small, here is a list of common ones: death of child or spouse, getting a divorce, physical or sexual abuse, handicapped family member, chronic illness, a spouse has an affair, drug or alcohol abuse, and so many others. All of these crises can arise at any time in a family. At one point or the other a family will have to go through one or multiple crises. Persona...

            I would like to take this opportunity to discuss a topic that can be a bit controversial and also very sensitive to some people. I usually try to make my blogs relatable to all people, but today I want to discuss how sex is often seen as a taboo topic from the members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Letter-day Saints. Before I start let me make this VERY clear, the doctrine and teachings of the prophets and apostles has always been presented correctly. However, as individual members we have created a culture that makes talking freely about things like sex, pornography , or masturbation almost impossible.  Many people have complained to me that there is not enough proper teachings in the church about these topics, however, I would like to argue that there is endless information given by the leaders of the church. It is us who choose not to seek the right information and teach it properly. Why would this be an issue? It is importa...

  I am not a blogger. I have never been good and writing down how I feel. Nor do I think being vulnerable to strangers. I keep a personal journal from time to time, but I usually don’t broadcast my thoughts and experiences in a super public setting. I know what I have to say does have value and can help people, but I am not one to take time out of my life to share my story with others. I tend to be one of those people that has a very close, tight knit circle of people in my life and don’t care too much about what other people outside of that circle may think of me. Now, I am setting myself up to sound like a total jerk right? Well I promise you that I am not. I love serving people, making conversation with strangers, and having deep discussions with people. I love connecting with people and seeing others succeed. However, I know that I sometimes care too much. I can give 110%, while the other person is only giving me 50%, and yet I still feel like there’s more I could be doing. Tha...

          When it comes to dating in today’s society, it can be so hard to know if you're doing it “right”. This post will be dedicated to those who want to know how to date successfully. Dr. John Van Epp developed a dating model called the Relationship Attachment Model (RAM), which goes over five key elements that need to be present in order to date successfully. These five components are know, trust, rely, commit, and touch in that order. In order to date successfully it is important to follow this model.  This may sound like common sense, but let me give you a few scenarios and see if you can relate. Scenario one, you have been dating someone for a few months and most of your dates include sitting on the couch watching tv having make-out sessions. Scenario two, you are individually very insecure and unhappy with your life, but then when you’re with your significant other you are so happy that your happiness actually relies on you being in a relation...

  Is there really a big difference between men and women? I mean we all kind of look the same physically with eyes, legs, fingers, etc. Obviously guys tend to have a deeper voice and I mean women can give birth, so we definitely aren’t the same, but what about our characteristics. Are there certain things men tend to do more than women? Does being a guy mean you are born with certain personality traits that women don’t have? Maybe by just being born a girl you are automatically smarter than if you were born male? Again these are a lot of what ifs and maybes, however, for today’s post I would like to share with you something that is very near and dear to my heart. It is called “ The Family: A Proclamation to the World” and was written by leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This statement was given as a declaration to the world as to what God states a family is and what individuals responsibilities are in the family unit. First let us dive into the individual ...

  When you hear the word “family”, what image comes to your mind? Is it a mom & dad with kids, same-sex couple, a single lady with her cats, an older couple with their grandkids, or does your mind draw a blank? Well the definition of family has changed a lot over the years and the purpose of this post is not to define what a family is, but to get you thinking of all the variety of pieces that make up a family. No family is the same in number, race, culture, or beliefs yet if you take a family member out of the picture it leaves a hole.  Researchers have been studying this topic for years and do you know what one of the most common questions is? Think about it for a minute. We know that researchers are focused on finding a correlation to the family’s financial well being, social status, education, and job status. Yet, the question researchers care so much about is, how does this affect the children involved.  Let me give you an example, you are a researcher studying wh...

Regardless of how functional or picture perfect your family may appear, within each family there are roles that are placed on the individual members. Some of these are obvious, vocalized roles such as being the mother, father, sibling, etc. However, many roles can be acquired without choice or discussion. For example, in my family I am often known as the responsible, dependable one. My family can always rely on me to be the strong, steady minded one they can turn to for strength or reassurance. I am the sister who can help you make a decision and is there for you whenever you need it. The daughter who does everything she can to make her parents proud. I am the niece or granddaughter who always makes an effort to keep in touch. Not that my other family members don't have these abilities, but I know that more than anyone else in the family I have developed this role. One thing that I hear so many times when I catch my family talking about me is that, "you don't have to worry...